ARE EXCERPTS FROM THE STORY . . .
I first became engaged in the process of healing shortly
after my mother died. Her death made me aware of the
fact that there was something beyond this life. My
sisters and I were with her and did hospice care. It
was a very spiritual experience and it was obvious to
us that it had become a palpable healing space. Very
unusual things happened in that space while we were
I had spent a lot of time being very fearful of death
because I did not have faith that there was something
beyond this life. And it was very frightening to think
that you would die and you were nothing. Her death was
a gift of seeing that there was a spirit world, that
there was something more. Even though it was sad, heart
wrenching, and I didnt want my mother to die,
at the same time, there was this beautiful peace about
the whole process and a closeness to everyone that I
hadnt felt in a long time.
When her spirit left it was a very clear transition,
and that was a very interesting process to see too.
I thought that some part of her would still be present,
but when I went back to her apartment later that day,
it was very clear that her essence, her spirit, was
no longer there. You could just feel the whole shift
in her apartment. That was real hard for me to accept
at first; especially because of her attachment to her
place. I was surprised that she was gone. And I would
have liked to have kept her there, but that was my own
wish and I realize would not have been good for her.
After that, I saw an ad in the paper for introductory
shiatsu sessions, and I felt a real strong pull that
I should go do that, though I had never received any
body work before at all. So, I came to this Healing
Center and Suzanne and I instantly had a connection.
She spent about two hours with me instead of the half-hour
introduction. The experience was so moving for me that
I knew this was something I just had to do for myself.
That was my first contact with any kind of holistic
healing, anything with self-reflection.
I had a dream, a very waking kind of dream, that my
mother was talking to me. I woke up in bed and she was
next to me and we had a long conversation without words.
She mostly was telling me about her process, the most
wonderful things she had learned since she passed on.
After that, I went to see a psychic that someone recommended
to me. She confirmed what I already suspected, that
my mother was the one who was acting as the catalyst
for me from the other side. In fact, spoke to me, told
me what my mother said to me and it was the intonation,
everything about it was my mother speaking to me.
At the time, I was about 40 and thought "Why now?"
Ive been here for 40 years and closed and didnt
know anything and all of a sudden, this world is opening
up for me. Why did it have to wait until I was 40? She
said this was the right time for me to be awakened and
just not to worry about it -- go with it.
After that I couldnt get enough. I just had to
know more, I had to work on myself and I was very fortunate
that the right people and the right courses kept showing
up for me.
Shift of Letting Go
I went on to take other things and all this time just
slowly learned how to let go and how to process beliefs
about myself and my wounds. Through it came healing
for my daughter, especially through the One Brain work
I learned. I became aware of issues she had picked up
from myself and from my husband, that were not hers.
As I healed myself, she got better.
shifting was a little scary for her. And being a child,
she really picked up on the subtleties of that shift.
The nice thing is that I was in a position to recognize
it and do something about it before it became a big
deal for her. Every shift that I made also became a
shift in my family, and shes gotten the benefit
out of it the most of all.
Back then I understood healing to be getting in touch
with the real me. In fact, it was almost like a remembrance.
I remembered how I felt as a little girl and realized
that somewhere in that growing up process, I had lost
myself. So it was like finding myself again and finding
my strengths and remembering my dreams. It was a place
that I felt so good in that there wasnt any way
that I could forget about it. I had to keep pursuing.
There wasnt any way to become unconscious again.
No matter how hard the road was to this consciousness,
I could not allow myself to go back to almost a mechanical
way of being
the way that you were told to be
-- going through life without knowing why youre
Darkness to Light
When I look back on opening up to this whole new life,
it was like going from darkness into light. Being lost
and found. I wont say theres no more darkness,
but there is more light. Something that I didnt
think Id move into. Im still not into organized
religion, but that spiritual sense, that knowing that
there is a higher being, that there is a higher force
that were all part of, and that were reaching
toward, is something that gives a lot of peace. And
the fact that I can be my own support, that this higher
Self, the Soul, the spiritual part of yourself thats
one with everything, is extremely supportive. The oneness
of being with every blade of grass, every animal and
every atom thats around -- knowing that were
all part of each other, interacting with each other
-- is a wonderful gift because I think many of us feel
Sense of Belonging
To know that youre not alone, that its not you
versus everyone else, that were all entwined and
part of a oneness, and that our actions affect the world
around us and affect others and everyones actions
affect each other--if everyone could be more aware of
that, I think wed live in a nicer world.
I think that a lot of the pain that people have is their
separateness, that feeling that theyre the "other,"
or that everyone else is the "other," and
the more you can have the opportunity to experience
the oneness, the world is a much friendlier place. Ive
been really lucky to be able to access that and have
the opportunity to feel that oneness. As the light expanded
and the process unfolded, there was more openness for
me, more of a sense of belonging, of peace, of sharing.
Up the Spirit
Theres not a clear distinction for me between
emotional, psychological, spiritual or physical aspects
of my healing process. I think that one flows into the
other. And healing my physical and emotional wounding
and hurts was about opening up the spirit, and the line
became blurred. As I went from that darkness to the
light, it all got better.
Another analogy or metaphor that would represent going
into the light would be "taking blinders off."
This whole process has been like going home. Its
been becoming more comfortable. Growth is in degrees,
I guess. Its been a slow unfolding. But the fact
is that Im conscious of it now, Im aware
of it and can almost look outside as a witness to that
person who sat there feeling alone and this person who
feels part of everything. I
can see the difference now from this other place and
be joyful in this person who feels a part of everything
else. I know thats me and its where I need to
I think that you have to continue growing and when you
stop growing, you die. Were never done, were
never a finished product. Think of yourself as a beautiful
flower unfolding. Thats interesting because I
wanted to say clay but thats getting into somebody
else molding you, putting you into a shape or container
thats not you doing it, thats an outside
process. A flower unfolding is your own process and
you can find the beauty of your own soul.