THESE ARE EXCERPTS FROM THE STORY . . .

Seeing Something More
I first became engaged in the process of healing shortly after my mother died. Her death made me aware of the fact that there was something beyond this life. My sisters and I were with her and did hospice care. It was a very spiritual experience and it was obvious to us that it had become a palpable healing space. Very unusual things happened in that space while we were with her.
I had spent a lot of time being very fearful of death because I did not have faith that there was something beyond this life. And it was very frightening to think that you would die and you were nothing. Her death was a gift of seeing that there was a spirit world, that there was something more. Even though it was sad, heart wrenching, and I didn’t want my mother to die, at the same time, there was this beautiful peace about the whole process and a closeness to everyone that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
When her spirit left it was a very clear transition, and that was a very interesting process to see too. I thought that some part of her would still be present, but when I went back to her apartment later that day, it was very clear that her essence, her spirit, was no longer there. You could just feel the whole shift in her apartment. That was real hard for me to accept at first; especially because of her attachment to her place. I was surprised that she was gone. And I would have liked to have kept her there, but that was my own wish and I realize would not have been good for her.

A Strong Pull
After that, I saw an ad in the paper for introductory shiatsu sessions, and I felt a real strong pull that I should go do that, though I had never received any body work before at all. So, I came to this Healing Center and Suzanne and I instantly had a connection. She spent about two hours with me instead of the half-hour introduction. The experience was so moving for me that I knew this was something I just had to do for myself. That was my first contact with any kind of ‘holistic healing’, anything with self-reflection.

The Right Time
I had a dream, a very waking kind of dream, that my mother was talking to me. I woke up in bed and she was next to me and we had a long conversation without words. She mostly was telling me about her process, the most wonderful things she had learned since she passed on. After that, I went to see a psychic that someone recommended to me. She confirmed what I already suspected, that my mother was the one who was acting as the catalyst for me from the other side. In fact, spoke to me, told me what my mother said to me and it was the intonation, everything about it was my mother speaking to me.
At the time, I was about 40 and thought "Why now?" I’ve been here for 40 years and closed and didn’t know anything and all of a sudden, this world is opening up for me. Why did it have to wait until I was 40? She said this was the right time for me to be awakened and just not to worry about it -- go with it.
After that I couldn’t get enough. I just had to know more, I had to work on myself and I was very fortunate that the right people and the right courses kept showing up for me.

The Shift of Letting Go
I went on to take other things and all this time just slowly learned how to let go and how to process beliefs about myself and my wounds. Through it came healing for my daughter, especially through the One Brain work I learned. I became aware of issues she had picked up from myself and from my husband, that were not hers. As I healed myself, she got better.

My shifting was a little scary for her. And being a child, she really picked up on the subtleties of that shift. The nice thing is that I was in a position to recognize it and do something about it before it became a big deal for her. Every shift that I made also became a shift in my family, and she’s gotten the benefit out of it the most of all.

Finding Myself Again
Back then I understood healing to be getting in touch with the real me. In fact, it was almost like a remembrance. I remembered how I felt as a little girl and realized that somewhere in that growing up process, I had lost myself. So it was like finding myself again and finding my strengths and remembering my dreams. It was a place that I felt so good in that there wasn’t any way that I could forget about it. I had to keep pursuing. There wasn’t any way to become unconscious again. No matter how hard the road was to this consciousness, I could not allow myself to go back to almost a mechanical way of being… the way that you were told to be -- going through life without knowing why you’re here.

From Darkness to Light
When I look back on opening up to this whole new life, it was like going from darkness into light. Being lost and found. I won’t say there’s no more darkness, but there is more light. Something that I didn’t think I’d move into. I’m still not into organized religion, but that spiritual sense, that knowing that there is a higher being, that there is a higher force that we’re all part of, and that we’re reaching toward, is something that gives a lot of peace. And the fact that I can be my own support, that this higher Self, the Soul, the spiritual part of yourself that’s one with everything, is extremely supportive. The oneness of being with every blade of grass, every animal and every atom that’s around -- knowing that we’re all part of each other, interacting with each other -- is a wonderful gift because I think many of us feel very alone.

A Sense of Belonging
To know that you’re not alone, that its not you versus everyone else, that we’re all entwined and part of a oneness, and that our actions affect the world around us and affect others and everyone’s actions affect each other--if everyone could be more aware of that, I think we’d live in a nicer world.
I think that a lot of the pain that people have is their separateness, that feeling that they’re the "other," or that everyone else is the "other," and the more you can have the opportunity to experience the oneness, the world is a much friendlier place. I’ve been really lucky to be able to access that and have the opportunity to feel that oneness. As the light expanded and the process unfolded, there was more openness for me, more of a sense of belonging, of peace, of sharing.

Opening Up the Spirit
There’s not a clear distinction for me between emotional, psychological, spiritual or physical aspects of my healing process. I think that one flows into the other. And healing my physical and emotional wounding and hurts was about opening up the spirit, and the line became blurred. As I went from that darkness to the light, it all got better.

Growth in Degrees
Another analogy or metaphor that would represent going into the light would be "taking blinders off." This whole process has been like going home. It’s been becoming more comfortable. Growth is in degrees, I guess. It’s been a slow unfolding. But the fact is that I’m conscious of it now, I’m aware of it and can almost look outside as a witness to that person who sat there feeling alone and this person who feels part of everything. I can see the difference now from this other place and be joyful in this person who feels a part of everything else. I know that’s me and its where I need to be.

Beauty Unfolding
I think that you have to continue growing and when you stop growing, you die. We’re never done, we’re never a finished product. Think of yourself as a beautiful flower unfolding. That’s interesting because I wanted to say clay but that’s getting into somebody else molding you, putting you into a shape or container that’s not you doing it, that’s an outside process. A flower unfolding is your own process and you can find the beauty of your own soul.